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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178925">Let the river run</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyPineTrees/pseuds/TinyPineTrees'>TinyPineTrees</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Shots AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Peaky Blinders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Suicide, Smut, brief discussion of suicidal tendencies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyPineTrees/pseuds/TinyPineTrees</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfie asks Tommy to trust him, and naturally, Tommy has a few concerns about that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Shots AU [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let the river run</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please enjoy! Thank you Muse and Minty for all your encouragement and help!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tommy!” Alfie’s voice drifted through the bathroom, ruining the hazy, weightless feeling floating through him. “You’ve been in there for over an hour, that water has to be cold by now!”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy blinked his eyes open, trying to follow the sound as it echoed up the tiled walls before dying off, muffled by the thin rivers of dusty dried paint that snaked across the peaked ceiling. For a brief moment he wondered if Alfie’s housekeeper ever dusted up there. </p><p> </p><p>“You fuckin’ hazard, if you’re asleep—” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not!” Tommy shouted, jolting and shivering as frigid water sloshed around his knees. “I’m fully fucking capable of not drowning in the bath!” </p><p> </p><p>His fingers slid over the porcelain rim, spilling water down the sides as he shuddered and struggled to pull himself up. The water pooled along the tiled floor, forming a small lake that Alfie would no doubt have a few things to say about. </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t keep from drowning if you’re not fucking conscious.” Alfie called frustratedly. </p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t asleep,” Tommy said, reaching for a towel. “I was quiet, some people like that you know—”</p><p> </p><p>“Quiet in the bath?” Alfie huffed a dry laugh. “Sure, fucking average innit? Quiet for a fucking hour? Fucking normal.” Tommy could almost see him angrily leaning against the bathroom door. </p><p> </p><p>He wrapped the towel tightly around himself and searched for a second one. Opening the door still shivering would hardly be convincing. </p><p> </p><p>“Now you, love, if it’s you being quiet for an hour while in the bath? Well then I fucking worry, don’t I? Fuckin’ unusual. See, only a few things could be happening.” Alfie said. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy groaned as the reprimand continued, and words like ‘murdered’ and ‘overdosed’ were spat from behind the door. Sitting through a lecture was not how he wanted to spend the evening. Not when all he wanted was to be warm. He glanced down, eyeing his sore split knuckles, eyes trailing up further to take in his bony wrists. </p><p> </p><p>It had been a horrible week. </p><p> </p><p>John had broken his arm in a fight, and Arthur nearly slaughtered the poor sod who broke it. They’d lost too much money on an easy bet, one Tommy had been warned of. Polly had threatened to shoot them each more than once, Ada had stopped talking to John, and he’d ended the week by putting a horse down. They’d done everything they could to help her fight the infection, but it’d won out in the end. </p><p> </p><p>The shot rang in his ears, sending cold shivers down his back. There was just nothing for it. A terrible fucking week. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He eyed the bathroom door. Its tarnished, brassy handle sneered at him, daring him to wrench the thing open and throw himself into the argument. Was it so much to ask to be warm? Warm and quiet for a few small hours. </p><p> </p><p>Breathing slowly, he tried to muster some courage back into his bones. </p><p> </p><p>“Tommy?” Alfie’s voice lowered, concern running along it, replacing the previous anger. “You alright?” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy switched the lock, and threw the door open, half expecting Alfie’s concern to evaporate the moment he saw him. As though it had only been there to lure him out. </p><p> </p><p>Warm eyes blinked down at him, dancing over damp hair and down trembling shoulders. They stared for a few quiet moments, standing still in the pale white light coming from the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, alright,” Alfie finally hummed quietly, reaching one hand out to cup Tommy’s neck. Warmth crept along his skin, seeping into bones. “I stand by what I said though.” He tugged Tommy close, stopping short just as Tommy moved to wrap his own arms around Alfie. “You can’t be quiet for an hour in the bath, I worry. Anything could happen.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Alfie that bathroom is the size of-”</p><p> </p><p>“I know how fucking small it is. Just like I know how fucking big the tub is, and how deep you fill it,” Alfie said.</p><p> </p><p>A shaky smile inched across Tommy’s face as his icy fingers dove beneath Alfie’s shirt. The soft fabric was too thin to really insulate him from the cold, but Alfie more than made up for that with body heat. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Dying in a bathroom,” Tommy mumbled from where he pressed his face hard into Alfie’s neck. “Not very dramatic.” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t joke about it,” Alfie said, his eyes going dark as he pushed Tommy away. </p><p> </p><p>“Alfie, you can’t actually think I’d drown in the bath,” he said. </p><p> </p><p>“I think you could easily do it in the bath.” Alfie tightened his grip on his arms and spun Tommy around, shoving them both back into the small bathroom. “Drowning now, nah, too fuckin’ typical. Too much like other family members we know of.” Tommy’s throat closed up as one of Alfie’s hands tightened further on his shoulder, and the other threaded roughly through his hair, yanking his head toward the still full tub. His mother’s pale, lifeless face floated in the back of his mind. “What else is useful here though, eh?” He asked, sharply tilting Tommy’s head down. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy jerked, wrenching himself furiously from Alfie’s grasp and slipping on the puddle of water he had left on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>“How about the razors you’re so fond of?” Alfie leaned forward, hands clenched as he stared at Tommy. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He reached over, shoving aside bottles and washcloths until he found a blade. </p><p> </p><p>“Alfie,” Tommy started, feeling the cold seeping back in alarmingly quickly as the pale white tiles along the floor and walls encroached. </p><p> </p><p>“You think this isn’t dramatic enough for you?” Alfie’s eyes blazed as he dropped the razor onto the counter. “You think I don’t worry when you lock this fuckin’ door?” His arms flung wildly as he gestured, and his large frame seemed to take up all the space that was left. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright!” Tommy tried to shout, but his throat refused to open and all he could do was choke out sounds. </p><p> </p><p>The room was too small, too white. Dirty tiles reshaped themselves into dingy padding, weaving snapshots of Barney’s miserable sanitorium cell across his mind. It had never been warm in there, <em> never warm </em> and the air was rotten. It stank of sickness. The smell would attach itself to you, burning your nose and clouding your eyes until you couldn’t find the disease or cruelty, until you couldn’t see the violence. And the patients accepted it. As though they deserved the miserable conditions. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Inching backwards, Tommy’s feet splashed through icy water. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He glanced down worriedly as the water seemed to grow larger before his eyes. A minute ago it was hardly a puddle, but now it rose and began wrapping around his legs, deepening at a frightening rate.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Tommy!” </p><p> </p><p>Alfie darted forward, reaching for him quick as lightning, though still not fast enough to catch him. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy flinched away, his knees knocking into the tub as he twisted clumsily. His mother’s fishbelly-pale legs floated up beneath his feet, stiff and cold as the day they’d pulled her from the cut. </p><p> </p><p>They’d pulled her from water as shallow as the tub’s. His father’s shouts rang in his ears, snide and vicious as he screamed at Uncle Charlie. If they’d hidden her in a sanatorium, she wouldn’t be dead. She’d have just been miserable and broken. Rotten, pale and thin. </p><p> </p><p>Had anyone tried to help save her? She had jumped on a foggy day, but it was always foggy in Birmingham. It was never quiet though, people were everywhere. Had they watched her jump and just ignored her? Envied her? Had they watched her jump and thought ‘good riddance’? </p><p> </p><p>As he toppled backwards, cold water burst around him, swallowing him whole and quickly drowning out the loud thoughts. A pounding sound thundered as he sank. It hammered through his body, sending lightning shooting through his chest as he struggled to escape. </p><p> </p><p>He threw an arm out, cracking it hard as he tried pulling himself out, before something clamped around his wrist and wrenched him quickly upwards and out of the water.</p><p> </p><p>“God fucking dammit!” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Tommy sputtered and choked as a rough hand thumped on his chest, mimicking the painful pounding. Another hand slid upwards, running through his hair and down his face, before finally landing on his jaw. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, Tommy.” Alfie’s face came into view, clear for the first time in what felt like ages. Hands burned hot as they brushed down Tommy’s arms and he was slowly lowered until he was sat leaning against the tub, with Alfie beside him </p><p> </p><p>The towel Tommy had been wearing bunched uncomfortably around him. He shivered, small tremors making it hard to pull it off. It was thoroughly soaked, and clung to him now, making him feel like he’d been wrapped in a sheet of ice. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t—” Alfie began, breathing purposefully slowly as he tried to rub some warmth into Tommy’s arms. “Don’t fuckin’ move, alright? Just give me a second, I’m going to get another towel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Tommy tried, gurgling and coughing as water climbed up his throat. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie stood and pulled the stopper from the tub, giving Tommy a firm look before slipping out of the small room. The noises of cupboard doors opening as Alfie muttered were calming, despite the angry undertones. He was still freezing though, and pins and needles were creeping down his arms. </p><p> </p><p>He glanced down, feeling especially sore where his wrist hit the bathtub. It didn’t look broken at least, just bruised. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Even Arthur wouldn’t be able to beat up a tub, though he might try. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie swung back into the room, sinking quickly to his knees as he pulled the soaked towel off Tommy and wrapped a dry one around him.</p><p> </p><p>“God—'' Alfie began, sighing as he eyed Tommy closely. He raised his hands slowly, almost nervously, or maybe he was still angry; Tommy was too exhausted to guess. </p><p> </p><p>His eyes fluttered shut, and he tipped forward, dropping his head onto Alfie’s shoulder in a silent apology. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie leaned in as well, pulling Tommy close and cupping the back of his head as he had earlier, though this time far more gently. His fingers curled and wove mindlessly through Tommy’s hair, scratching and soothing in his own apology. </p><p> </p><p>Their mingled breath echoed quietly as they sat in the small lake that now surrounded them; the only other sound was the faint but steady drops of water still running down the tub. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re alright.” Alfie said finally, whispering it half in his ear. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy gurgled in response, coughing again as more water found its way up his throat. He wound his arms tightly around Alfie’s neck. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t feel alright, far from it. His heart had yet to stop pounding; painful jolts trickled sluggishly out from his chest. His entire body shook, his throat was sore and raw, and cold water stung as it dripped into his eyes. His head was light on his shoulders, dizzy from the water, threatening to float away at any moment. Alfie’s hands felt like the only thing keeping him present. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie hummed, a quiet sound rumbling in his chest as he wrapped his arms tighter around Tommy and heaved them up together. He turned them with a slow arc, and walked out into the hallway. </p><p> </p><p>The carpet was soft beneath Tommy’s feet, guiding him easily to the bedroom. He found himself wondering again about the housekeeper. If she had picked out the runner, or at least chosen the color. It was a warm, solid brown, and looked too plain for Alfie to have picked. Everything he owned was bursting with character, from his faintly patterned bed sheets, to the ornate decorations carved onto his bed frame. </p><p> </p><p>“Eyes front,” Alfie said, his voice cutting through Tommy’s thoughts. “I’ve had enough fuckin’ adventures today, I don’t need you tripping over the carpet.” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy hummed and felt his throat loosening. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mhm,” Alfie nodded, his eyebrows raised as he glanced over Tommy. He took hold of Tommy’s elbow and guided him to the bed. “Bit of excitement is all, innit?” He shoved aside the heavy, down comforter and pushed Tommy onto the cool sheets. Tommy tilted his head upwards, unable to keep from watching as Alfie pulled his damp shirt off and kicked his trousers away. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy inched closer to the heavy comforter, his cold fingers barely tickling its edges. This was far more Alfie’s style. It looked like a mountain of pale, buttercream frosting that had been dolloped over soft sheets. </p><p> </p><p>“Like that blanket, do you?” Alfie asked, leaning over and tugging it loosely from Tommy’s hands. “Well last time you saw it, you told me it was—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hideous,” Tommy interrupted, his voice a little clearer as he eyed Alfie climbing slowly over him to linger in the air between Tommy’s legs.  </p><p> </p><p>“Nah, it’s tasteful,” Alfie said, his warm fingers skittering down Tommy’s arms as he pulled his towel off. “And classic,” he continued, inching down as he pressed Tommy into the sheets and brushed small kisses up over his cheekbones. “And it is also, I suspect, a poor attempt at distancing ourselves from what just happened.” Tommy’s stomach dropped and he felt an uncomfortable itch growing beneath his skin the more Alfie spoke. </p><p> </p><p>He sucked in a breath of air, trying to calm his nervous heart, but he felt even more seen now than before. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Huffing, Tommy tilted his chin up in an attempt to inch away. His skin felt electric and every soft kiss seemed to pull him deeper beneath Alfie’s body. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy jerked, trying to nudge a knee in between them, but Alfie was quicker and pushed Tommy’s legs apart as he settled over him. The heavy weight opened Tommy’s legs wider than usual; causing a nervous trickle to run down his neck, and his legs to fall wider still. They didn’t fuck like this normally. Tommy would ride Alfie, or get on his hands and knees for him; which wasn’t to say that he hadn’t been on his back before, but Alfie had never pushed him down and taken so much control. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie just sank heavier onto him, lacing his fingers through Tommy’s as he spread the full weight of his warmth over him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“And I feel, personally right,” Alife held their hands to his chest for a moment, “that it may be entirely necessary for me to remind you of a few key pieces of information. Before you, silly boy,” he pressed a light kiss high on his cheekbone, “go and get lost in your pretty head or try to run away.” Alfie whispered, taking the opportunity to bite lightly under Tommy’s chin. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy flinched, trying to pull his hands away. Alfie’s presence was all encompassing, his warmth and weight creeping deeper by the second. Tommy succeeded in pulling one hand free, but Alfie tightened the grip too quickly for him to save the other. </p><p> </p><p>“See now, I’ve had a thought,” Alfie said in a quiet voice, his eyes slid up as his voice drifted off. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy tilted his head upwards, following where he thought Alfie’s eyes had gone, half wondering if Alfie wanted him to turn around. He would’ve preferred it; would have been glad to fuck like usual, especially after what had happened in the bathroom. </p><p> </p><p>He began trying to spin onto his front, still working to free his other hand, but Alfie slid higher along his body, pulling Tommy’s legs up with him and settling them around his waist. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Alfie said, coming to life and seeming to sense Tommy’s thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy froze, feeling his spine arching at the closeness, pressing him further into Aflie’s warm bulk, creating a heavy pit in his stomach. </p><p> </p><p>“I like it better this way.” Alfie said, “Seems to keep you present.” He nodded his chin at their position. “Surprisingly sweet too, eh? I wish you could look at yourself, sweet thing. ”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy’s hand shot out, shoving at Alfie’s shoulder. His cheeks burned as he tried to force Alfie off with one arm. He didn’t want Alfie to see him like this. It felt wrong. He was too open, everything held down, available. </p><p> </p><p>Leaning up for a moment, Alfie licked his thumb before sliding his free hand down between their tightly pressed bodies to cup Tommy’s cock. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie’s warm hand slid around him, the touch stilling Tommy for the first time since they’d laid down. He glanced upwards, catching Alfie’s burning eyes as they tracked over his face. Alfie’s pupils were blown wide; his fingers moved with a slow twist as they brushed the underside of Tommy’s cock.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy shivered, forgetting why he’d been pushing at Alfie in the first place as the soft touch drew a whine from his throat. Alfie’s beard twitched, a small smile peeking out from behind it. Tommy could feel his back relaxing, falling deeper into the bed. The warm sheets slipped like silk, crinkling beneath them as Alfie rocked his hips, his cock brushing along the inside of Tommy’s right thigh. </p><p> </p><p>“There we are,” Alfie murmured, his thumb coming up to brush over the sensitive head. His fingers slid lower to brush around the rim of his arsehole. “All pretty blue eyes, aren’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>A tremor ran through Tommy, weakening his knees. His eyes slid shut, and he wound his free hand into his fringe, desperate for Alfie not to watch him fall apart like this. He didn’t understand why everything felt so much more intense than usual. Alfie had barely touched him, but every brush from the rough pads of his fingers was distracting, making it harder for Tommy to form a solid thought. </p><p> </p><p>Fingers tightened in his hair, and he pressed his fist tighter over his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“That's not fair now, not by half,” Alfie said, pulling his fingers away from Tommy’s hole to grab at his free hand. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy jerked, annoyed at himself for getting caught, and nervous as he tried to pull his hands free. His eyes slid shut, and he could hear a quiet whine whispering out from somewhere, a loose feeling slid down his arms, weakening them and allowing Alfie to pull them up above his head. </p><p> </p><p>“There you are,” Alfie cooed softly as he held Tommy’s arms above his head. “Now I can see your pretty face.” </p><p> </p><p>“Alfie,” Tommy shuddered, his knees drawing upward, the back of his heel slipping around Alfie’s shoulder blade as he tried to curl smaller, to leave less of himself on display. Alfie pressed light kisses over Tommy’s eyes, the gentle touch encouraging them open again in time to watch Alfie’s tongue sweep over the fingers on his free hand.  </p><p> </p><p>Alfie’s hand slid down, returning to circling his fingers in slow movements around Tommy’s arsehole. </p><p> </p><p>“See, as I said before,” Alfie’s finger slid inside, followed quickly by a second. “I have had a realization that you, lovely thing, hide when you feel vulnerable.” His fingers pressed in deeper still, twisting and stretching. “You even hide from yourself,” he said, his voice soft as his fingers searched. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy flinched, gasping and trying to curl in on himself again when Alfie found his prostate. The rough pads of Alfie’s fingers were electric as he pressed a little harder, alternating between soft strokes that danced just around and deliberately pressing on it, ringing a moan from Tommy. </p><p> </p><p>“Always aware, always watching. Laying in wait, is a good description. Well, almost,” Alfie began, a small smile creeping across his lips as a shudder ran up Tommy’s back. Alfie rocked forward, his lower belly brushing against Tommy’s cock, smearing the gathering precome. “You are laying, and this could be called waiting. Don’t you think?” </p><p> </p><p>“Alfie,” Tommy said, swallowing heavily as Alfie’s fingers continued at a slower pace. He’d never been this quiet during sex before. A sharp nervousness bolted up his back. Why hadn’t he argued? How did Alfie know things were alright? “Alfie, pl—” he tried again, unable to form the word. </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” Alfie asked, his fingers stilling. “You don’t think you're waiting?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t,” Tommy tried, his tongue suddenly too large for his mouth. “I want—” he tried to reach down, forgetting for a moment that Alfie still held his wrists. He dropped bonelessly into the sheets as Alfie began stroking harder, pressing firmly on the spot. </p><p> </p><p>“I know what you want,” Alfie’s eyes were kind as he spoke. “Relax, you’re going to get what you need.” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy shook his head, no, feeling incredibly nervous about the difference between ‘want’ and ‘need’, but could hardly get a word out, not with Alfie’s roving fingers pinning him in place and holding him open. He tried to free his hands again, feeling more vulnerable now than ever. </p><p> </p><p>“You want me to stop?” Alfie asked, his fingers sliding out as he looked Tommy in the eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy paused, feeling every inch of Alfie’s fingers; the heavy body, pressed over his own, holding him down; the warmth that had been steadily pooling and simmering in his stomach. The hand holding Tommy’s wrists loosened for a moment, and Alfie’s thumb brushed a gentle circle over his knuckles. Tommy realized then, that he didn’t want him to stop. He didn’t. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want Alfie to stop. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy shook his head in a slow movement, feeling the nervous trickle running up his back again. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright then.” Alfie said, shifting down and pushing Tommy’s legs up around his shoulders, Tommy's jaw fell open as Alfie’s belly rubbed over the sensitive head of his cock again. “I’m going to ask you then, to keep your hands above your head. Your legs too, keep them nice and high around my shoulders. A little trust exercise, innit?” he said. “Can you do that love?” Alfie’s eyes found his, and he nodded as he spoke. “Don’t move, alright?” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy nodded with him, twitching with anticipation when Alfie eased the grip on his wrists and moved his hands down to hold Tommy’s waist. </p><p> </p><p>“Remember what I said,'' The fingers on Alfie’s right hand dotted a slick trail over Tommy’s sides as he tightened his grip. Tommy felt himself nodding before Alfie even finished his sentence. His arsehole clenched, desperate since Alfie withdrew his fingers. “You <em> are </em> sweet like this, aren’t you,” Alfie said, pressing whiskery kisses onto Tommy’s lips as the blunt head of his cock brushed over Tommy’s hole. Tommy’s arms twitched from above his head as he felt Alfie push in. “Docile even.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alfie—” Tommy moaned, unable to stop his eyes from pinching shut at Alfie’s words. <em> ‘Sweet, and docile.’  </em></p><p> </p><p>Alfie pushed all the way in, in one swift move, seating himself heavily in Tommy, and pulling him deeper onto his cock. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy's head throbbed, the sound of rushing water crashed around him; the intense fullness made it difficult to think of anything but Alfie’s massive cock. The massive cock Tommy was sitting fully on. The sheets clung to his back, and he belatedly heard a quiet moan croak from his throat. </p><p> </p><p>His fingers twisted and clenched unhelpfully into his fringe. He could feel his own hot breath on his palms as he struggled to relax around Alfie’s cock. </p><p> </p><p>“Tommy,” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy froze, his chest heaving as he struggled to slow his breathing. </p><p> </p><p>“What did I say, eh?” Alfie asked. </p><p> </p><p>Fingers came up, gentle as they pulled Tommy’s hands from his hair. </p><p> </p><p>“What did I ask you now?” Alfie asked as he cupped the back of Tommy’s head. “Shouldn’t have asked you to hold yourself up, should I?” His thumb rubbed a slow circle below Tommy’s ear. “Not when I knew you couldn’t.” The motion soothed Tommy’s tense jaw, encouraging his eyes open again. Alfie smiled down at him and pressed a soft kiss onto his sweaty forehead. “That’s too hard for you right now, isn’t it?” Alfie cooed, rocking his hips as Tommy blinked, struggling to understand what was happening. “I’ll do it for you, you trust me, don’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>Shame washed over him as Alfie rocked his hips again, and he shuddered as pleasure bolted through him and Alfie pushed in deeper, settling heavily onto his prostate. His knees trembled, falling open a hair wider. </p><p> </p><p>That wasn’t fair, he didn’t want Alfie thinking he couldn’t do it, he could! He could, he just had to push past this impossible floating feeling.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy shook his head, his sweaty fringe sticking to his forehead, the odd rushing sound tingling around his ears. </p><p> </p><p>“I can do it,” Tommy nodded, his tongue dry in his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>“What have I just seen then, eh?” Alfie asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I can do it, I can, I promise,” Tommy said, his voice high as Alfie continued rocking. “Let me try again.” </p><p> </p><p>“You’re already starting to curl in,” Alfie said, looking pointedly down at Tommy’s hands. They had somehow migrated lower, covering his neck and chest, still held in Alfie’s gentle grasp. “Can’t leave you alone for a second, can I?” He tightened his grip and pulled Tommy’s hands back up. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy whined as Alfie’s cock pushed in again, rubbing that sensitive spot and making his cock twitch. Alfie’s eyebrows rose, and he lifted up onto his elbows to look down for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>“You like that, eh?” Alfie asked, rocking in again. “You like to be taken care of, don’t you?” Alfie’s voice rumbled in his ear. “Just need to prove it to you, don’t I?” he said, sucking small love bites down Tommy’s neck.  “Can’t have you doubting yourself, not when you’re like this.” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy’s hands twitched, twisting frustratedly in Alfie’s grip. The heavy air was sinking around him, making it almost too hard to think. Every soft touch lit his skin, buzzing through him and settling in a heavy warm bundle in his stomach. His breath was too loud in his ears, and Alfie’s voice was all encompassing. A quiet whine escaped as Alfie started moving again, slow and steady.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at you, all big blue eyes, soft as anything,” Alfie murmured, his voice dropping as he brushed another kiss over Tommy’s lips. “I’ve never seen you so willing.” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy shook his head, feeling the shame aching inside him. He wasn’t willing, or, he was, but he hated that word, ‘<em>willing’.</em> The floating feeling in his head slid down his chest though, bubbling in his stomach and warming him even further. Alfie began rocking faster, pushing his weight down onto Tommy, and pinning him there. </p><p> </p><p>“Not willing,” Tommy said, breathy as Alfie’s hand skirted up his left knee and teased along the side. He shuddered and twitched as his legs were pulled even higher along Alfie’s shoulders. The sensitive skin along the inside of his thighs fluttered as Alfie pressed little kisses onto him.  “Just-just, wanting. Wanting for it.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, wanting for it, eh?” Alfie asked, stilling for a moment and blinking down at him. “That's interesting love, because wanting now, wanting would mean you’re lacking in something, wouldn’t it?” The fingers running along the inside of Tommy’s thigh tightened slightly, brushing over the sensitive skin. His cock twitched again, catching on Alfie’s lower stomach. “Lacking in what, do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Tommy said quickly, shivering as the tension built in his thighs, and a warm curl crept along his stomach. That was a horrible answer, one Alfie could easily turn against him, but he could hardly think of anything but Alfie’s slow, heavy movement. “Or—” Tommy started, pausing as his legs trembled around Alfie’s shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“Or?” Alfie asked, seeming to speed up encouragingly. Tommy whined when Alfie sank into him, this time pressing onto his prostate, eyes dark as Tommy shook around him. “Tommy, love, it’s ok to want it,” Alfie said, kissing him and swallowing his panting breaths. A shivery, familiar feeling started creeping in him, weakening his knees and burning in his stomach. “You’ve got the whole world on your shoulders, and look at me, eh?” Alfie’s voice rumbled in his ear, his cock pressing harder on that spot inside Tommy. “I’ve got you on my shoulders, don’t I?” He said. </p><p> </p><p>Tommy whined, a fluttery feeling bolted through him and escaped as a wounded sound. His left leg slipped from Alfie’s grasp and his back dipped, opening him wider and forcing Alfie harder still onto his prostate. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie froze above him, his eyes wide as Tommy shook and came. Everything rushed out of him, turning him loose and boneless in the bed. Alfie seemed to snap into action as Tommy sank, and he rocked him through the orgasm. The shock on Alfie’s face painted his cheeks red, and he started thrusting into Tommy much faster than before, rubbing at the sensitive bundle of nerves inside. </p><p> </p><p>“Fucking perfect, aren’t you?” Alfie moaned. “Fucking stunning thing you are. Coming just from—”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Tommy breathed, still weak with the afterglow. “I didn’t—”</p><p> </p><p>Alfie let go of his wrists, bringing his hands to Tommy’s waist. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you did,” Alfie groaned, slumping down and spilling into Tommy as he came. Their loud breath mingled as they laid together, sticky and exhausted, letting the warm afterglow run through them. They didn’t have anywhere to be anyway. Tommy certainly wasn’t moving anytime soon. </p><p> </p><p>His arms were still high above his head, the wrist he’d cracked against the tub aching at the thought of moving, and his sore legs and hips wouldn’t be holding his weight anytime soon. The floating feeling in his head had dulled as well, now a pleasant peacefulness. It seemed to whisper through every part of him, calming his nerves and relaxing him. </p><p> </p><p>“Much as I love this love, I can’t be having it, no good for my back, is it?” Alfie said as he sat up. His cock slipped out as he freed Tommy’s legs and settled him comfortably into the bed. The sheets still stuck to him, but it was hardly noticeable. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get a washcloth,” Tommy heard Alfie mumble. “I need something to clean you up or else you’ll be intolerable tomorrow. Do you want a cigarette?” Alfie’s hand snaked around Tommy’s head and his thumb brushed softly behind his ear. Tommy blinked his blurry exhausted eyes open, bringing the cluttered room into view. His head fell heavily into Alfie’s hand, struggling to stay awake and focused. </p><p> </p><p>Alfie’s voice croaked out a soft wordless sound, and his fingers scratched through the short hairs at the back of Tommy’s head. </p><p> </p><p>“Nah, nevermind, just go to sleep. I’ve got you love.” </p><p> </p><p>Tommy nodded, his head heavy as he fell back into the sheets. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading, if you enjoyed it please leave a comment below! They cheer me up immensely! This fic has been nerve wracking, but I’m so happy to finally share it! ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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